memories

So I remembered something really important today. It is a memory that I try not to think of often but now that I remember it in a knew light I really love it. Here we go...

The summer of 2005 I finally broke up with my girlfriend Miriam for good. We were working at a summer camp and things were awful between us. I try not to remember this night because it has us breaking up at dinner and her finding someone knew by bedtime. I didn't talk to her for 2 years after this night. But there was something amazing then too. After we had broken up I was raw. My heart was out and exposed and I felt terrible. At our local bar there was a blue grass band performing and although i had been looking forward to it for a while I took much convincing to go. When I got there the bar was packed and music was pouring out into the night. The light coming out of the bar seemed red with warmth and I felt I could see the pulse of the music through the light. I got myself a drink and was talking to a friend when I looked into the bar and saw Miriam flirting with the new guy. This was a relationship of passion and even seeing that led me into a fit. After a good cry (trust me this gets better) I walked back into the bar and into the music. I made my way to the front of the bar and just started to dance. Up until this point I was always uncomfortable dancing in front of people. I was always worried that I wasnt doing the right moves or that I looked like an idiot. But that night I was a different man. Nothing could get in my way of moving my body and I started dancing like I never had before! I was jumping and flayling and just going nuts. I danced harder than I had ever danced in my life and quickly found myself drenched in sweat with a huge smile on my face. I danced for hours and have never been the same. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and sometimes in the weirdest of ways. Now I love to dance and do it often. I don't consider it dancing unless I'm good and sweaty at the end. Sometimes I see people looking at me when I dance still inhibited themselves from letting go. They ask me how I can be so free and it all came down to one night when I had nothing to lose.

Today I went to Hardly Stricktly Blue Grass Festival. I was bored until I found a place with dancing. I danced hard and strong. There was beautiful girl dancing near me very well and I took that as a personal challenge. We danced till we were pouring with sweat and it was wonderful! Until today I never attributed this change in me to that one night and it's nice to find something so wonderful in what I used to think of as a night filled with sadness.

I wonder what else I can find the light in?