Friday, December 17, 2010

Eszter from Moishe House Budapest

Three reasons for a happy goodbye

I moved out of Moishe House Budapest yesterday…but some of my stuff is still there, dozens of books, my plants – and things I could not fit into my suitcases, objects that piled up in the last 15 months…. The fact that they are still there has for me a symbolic significance: its actually not possible to move out from the Moishe house totally, and not only because I cannot put my memories of laughter, joy, lights and shadows in my suitcases for they being immaterial, but because I take them away with me. While part of me remains there forever – or at least I wish it would, I wish my dreams and my energies I have invested, my work and efforts by now have become part of the edifice, the walls and air, the ambient – and I know that I can trust Anna, Zsófi and Lackó to really preserve remember it – the good moments we had together, and the difficulties we defeated together.

Two years ago it was a dream only – and it’s still hard to perceive what we have achieved and created together. A vibrant, diverse community with all of its realities – the creation of something that has never existed before in this form – experimenting while always also trying to connect with the tradition of Judaism – get inspired – first and foremost to experience Community – with a big C – an entity that has always interested me so much, something that I essentially need for existing and something that I still need to explore more, even if I have learned soo much about it (and myself) in the past months.

I would like to thank to everyone who enabled me to be part of this unique endeavor – the team and supporters of the Moishe House, my flat-mates, and people who belong to our community – Marom, Dor Hadash the Social Acion group, our landlord and those I cannot list here.

Leaving is always a bit sad and sentimental, and of course when the time of moving out was approaching, two months ago I started to feel odd about it. I was walking around in the apartment and whenever I looked at furniture or stuff, I immediately started to make thoughts about it - if it was mine and if I wanted to leave it or take it… it felt strange…a bit like in the movie “My life without me”. But there were three things that eventually diverted me from falling into some kind of sentimental and sad farewell-mood:

1. we had a crazy amount of programs in the past months – as usual – so I did not have time for lamenting about such things so much

2. during this many programs I observed how the Budapest Moishe House community -with my flatmates in the center - are more and more committed, and how things start to evolve “on their own”

3. I have the lucky situation when I am not only moving out of the Moishe house, but I’m actually moving to Jerusalem where I will encounter new challenges, and thinking about this is both inspiring and exciting. I also hope to experience a different, intense –spiritual - aspect of Judaism, and last but not least love

1 comment:

David Cygielman said...

Wow, really loved reading this and the best of luck in Jerusalem!