Earwax, Carrots and the 6-Foot Nurse

There's this cover band called the 6-Foot Nurse. They play mainly Led Zeppelin tunes but they also toss in some Pink Floyd and The Beatles. They play a lot at Molly Malones; in fact we had an event there in honor of the 40th anniversary of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. A lot of our loyal Moishniks enjoy seeing this band but I don't. It's excessively loud. Keep in mind this is coming from someone whose second home is the rock club. But cover bands aren't supposed to drown out your internal monologue. Unless they are extremely great and offer a captivating gimmick, they should serve merely as background music. When a large group of friends comes to an Irish bar to see a cover band, they probably want to socialize too. This got me thinking of how to best protect your ears and also enjoy your evening with your friends.

Now I've seen a lot of people try different techniques to plug their ears when trying to enjoy deafeningly loud music. We know that fingers don't work because they're usually a little fat, your arms get tired and you look really silly. Tissues don't really do the trick, unless you stuff a ton down your canals, and that might not be safe. You'd also look funny then too. Of all the household items, I think baby carrots serve as the best plugs. They're typically a little on the wet side, so you would have to do something to hold them in. I would suggest avoiding peanut butter, although it has been done. The best glue for the best plugs would be your earwax. Use that to the best of your advantage. Everyone has it, and only a thin layer matters. The seal made with the two is quite tight, pretty comfortable and will successfully filter the music. If you are not interested in the attention attracted by being in a public place with carrots sticking out of your ears, then you can easily bite off the excess ends.

So if you ever find yourself in a loud rock club where you aren't even able to hear people talk, and you have some baby carrots in your pockets, you now know how to best alleviate the pain in your drums.

This blog was inspired by manatees (if you haven't seen the South Park 2-part episode "Cartoon Wars" then you should probably check that out.)

In this case Dave Eagle is the manatee. He gave me the title.

No playing guitar hero!!