Fear of Balls

Remember in middle school gym class, when they picked teams for ball sports, and it was humiliating to be picked last? Well that was me, or almost me, since my friends would pick me out of sympathy. They knew I was more likely to duck than catch any round objects flying my way, but I was a good cheerleader, and that counted for a little.

Aside from one ultimate frisbee game when I was 23 , after those embarrassing experiences I've literally never played an athletic team-sport since I was thirteen. I rocked out in dance, did headstands in yoga, even kicked butt with capoera, but no ball sports. Until today. Why?

Enter Evan and Katie, our new Moishe House Ministers of Fun. They proposed that we have a non-competitive game of kick-ball, to get us all to use our bodies and get to know each other. While Moishe House Boston has lots of events that bring folks together for meaningful ritual, artistic expression, or political action, we haven't had as many opportunities to kick back and have fun. In support of Evan and Katie's creativity, I warily conceded to play, secretly dreading that I would be outed as athletically-challenged.

But, in a total shock to myself, I honestly wasn't that bad. I mean, kickball may be the easiest sport possible, but part of me wonders whether before I stayed away from sports because I was just too traumatized to keep trying.

This makes me think about how much easier it is to take risks when in a community where everyone's contribution matters and everyone is welcome. For me, kickball is a big challenge. For other people, it might be leading a shabbat service, or sharing their poetry at one of our arts workshops, or talking to someone who looks and sounds different from them through our social justice work. Whatever the risk, our community is giving me and others courage to go beyond our comfort zones, to experiment with who we can be, because we know those around us believe in us as we are, and will share a beer afterwards even if we couldn't catch the ball to save our lives.